Category: Relationships

Hi folks,

Here’s another article on relationships. Again I’ll follow up on my previous article on choice of spouse.

The new point to add here is that you must not take things at the surface when choosing a spouse, rather you must pay close attention to all factors you cosider important in a potential spouse, and seek and apply wisdom from God and from people who have more experience than you.

You must not overemphasize one factor to the detriment of other important factors when picking a spouse.

For example, one may you may be looking for a husband or wife who is caring, responsible etc. i.e. you’re interested in the behaviour of the person. That’s fine. But you must not ignore the person’s background. This is important because the behaviour that a person exhibits during courtship may or may not be their real behaviour.

If you want to know a person’s real behaviour, yes, it’s important to observe how they act towards you, but you must also consider the family the person grew up in. How do people in the person’s family behave? Also, you must consider the behaviour of the friends the person mingles with. This is how you would really know if a person’s beviour is likely to be their real behaviour, or an act.

As a Christian, I also believe it’s imprtant to put one’s endeavours in God’s hands, including choosing a spouse, for only God can give the grace to make good decisions.

That’s all for now. Ciao.

Hi folks,

In this post I’ll discuss something a bit different from my usual topics. It’s in the area of relationships, specifically, a few things to keep in mind when choosing a spouse. I learnt some of these things only fairly recently so I thought I would share. They are as follows:

Character – it’s good to choose a spouse whose character is compatible with yours. Make sure you’re generally comfortable with the person’s character e.g. if a man who is very gentle marries a woman who is super aggressive, it could be a recipe for trouble.

Physical appearance – your spouse should be someone you would feel proud presenting to others in society. Ask yourself this question: how would you feel if your child looks just like your spouse? Would you be happy? Ideally there should be some kind of balance in your appearance versus the other person’s appearance. If you decide to break this rule, make sure your partner has other qualities to compensate for the lack of desirable appearance.

Pedigree – pay close attention to a person’s education and family history e.g. parents and other relations. Make sure your pedigree isn’t too far off from your partner’s, otherwise there could be wide gaps in way of thinking which can cause issues if left unaddressed. Also, ideally you want someone with a good pedigree.

Compatibility of genotypes – make sure the genotypes are compatible, unless you really know what you’re doing.

World view – make sure your world view e.g. religion, philosophies, etc. is reasonably well-aligned with that of the other person. Also make sure your life goals are well-aligned.

Health – have good knowledge of the person’s health so you know if there’re any health issues to keep in mind and, if so, how to handle it should you choose to marry the person.

That’s all for now. Till next time, happy relationships.